How do children develop conversation skills?

Conversations.

While they may look different between a 3 year old and a 30 year old, conversations help us connect with others. But what makes a conversation work?

To have a conversation, we need language. More specifically, we need storytelling language.

Storytelling is at the heart of everyday conversations. When your child tells you what happened at school, recommends a show to a friend, or explains the rules of a game, they’re using storytelling language.

Children use storytelling language to share their ideas, recall stories, and create shared meaning with others. In short, storytelling helps children have conversations, and conversations help children build social connections.

What Happens When Storytelling Is Difficult?

So as a Speech Pathologist, when I hear a parent say that their child is having difficulties engaging in social interactions, I wonder what that child’s conversations with their peers look like. More specifically, I wonder what their storytelling language looks like. 

When I think of storytelling difficulties, I think of breakdowns at the sentence and story structure level:

Sentence Level

• Sentences might be jumbled or unclear (e.g. “the boy ice cream”) 
• Children may use vague words (e.g. “they went there and got on that thing”)
• Verb tenses might be incorrect (e.g. “they runned away and trip over”)

Story Structure Level

• Children may leave out key details, tell events out of order, or end the story abruptly 
• Children may have difficulties starting a story (e.g. saying “I don’t know” in response to “what did you do at school today”)

Difficulties telling a story can make it hard for a child to:

• Start a conversation (e.g. saying where they want to play, and with who they want to play)
• Keep a conversation going (e.g. using vague language which can confuse others)
• Successfully convey their message 
• Understand emotional vocabulary 
• Make sense of social situations 
• Have a back and forth conversation

Where do Speech Pathologists come in?

We support children to build their storytelling skills by:

• Teaching story structure (beginning, middle, end)
• Helping children tell stories with more detail 
• Encouraging specific vocabulary instead of vague words
• Using stories as a way of processing information from social experiences (e.g. including thoughts and feelings in a story)
• Practising storytelling as a way to connect with peers

A real life example: The interaction between storytelling and social communication (conversations)

I was working with a student, let’s call him Tom. His parents shared that Tom was having trouble keeping friends. His peers often walked away from him because they didn’t understand what he was saying.

Tom could speak in full sentences and loved making up stories. But his stories didn’t include enough context. He didn’t say who was in the story, where or when it happened, or what started it. That made it hard for others to follow what he was saying, and led to communication breakdowns.

In therapy, Tom continued creating stories about things he loved, but together, we found a structure to help him organise his ideas. We practised:

• Introducing our characters (e.g. their names, ‘powers’ and motivations)
• Setting the scene (i.e. where and when the story took place)
• Showing cause and effect between story events using words like “because,” “when,” and “so”
• Adding dialogue to role play different situations that related to his life through the lens of a fictional character

Now, when Tom tells a story, he includes clear context to his story. At school, his friends now understand his messages, and he is able to engage in conversations with his peers. Importantly, as a point of celebration, Tom’s parents report he now has a close group of friends with whom he plays everyday.

The Goal of Therapy

When we support a child’s storytelling, the goal of therapy isn’t to change what a child wants to talk about. The goal is to give children tools to tell their stories in a way others can understand, so they can connect, communicate, and thrive in social settings.

Written by Robbie Corgat, October, 2025

Certified Practicing Speech Pathologist